I’ve often been told that I view the world through rose tinted glasses. Many who said this were not aware of the darkness that lurks just beneath the surface. I’ve been putting this off for a while – going public with some very intimate thoughts and reflections about my life. I’ve realized that I am called to share my stories. Sharing my struggle with mental illness and a pervasive lack of self love as a young black woman of Christian faith might possibly help others realize that they are not alone. My mind can go places and think things that destroy the goodness that God has already redeemed within me. It’s time to embrace this part of myself and see how God brings about new life. So here we go…
The purpose of this blog is to share stories of how I am on a journey to embrace my WHOLE self and how my faith brings about healing and recognition of God’s constant presence in my life. I am learning that we can either be transformed in positive ways by our experiences or we can succumb to the negativity and life-taking messages that surround us. My hope is that this becomes a life-giving exercise, one that shows another side of a woman many think has it all together, but also helps others see that they too are loved, accepted and WHOLE. Truth be told, I rely on God’s grace daily and seek to use all the pain, suffering and sadness of my story to uplift others.
I am not an expert by any means. I am someone who utilizes medication, therapy, spiritual direction and other forms of renewal to cope with my reality. My hope is that you can learn to embrace your whole self – the beautiful, the ugly, the broken, the lost – and realize that all of you is loved, gifted and created for a purpose. If you have anything to share, please Contact Me. I pray that we can go together on this journey.
Love,
Me
Embracing My Shadow 
I learned of your site from RevGalBlogPals–thank you for sharing your stories and may God grant you mercy and courage as you continue your journey.
Thank you so very much!
Thank you for visiting my blog and the like:)
Hi,
I’m Tokoni, A student and poet. Its nice to meet your I’d like to invite you to my blog, http://www.insanitybeautiful.wordpress.com if you’re interested. Thanks!
Thank you for writing this. I am a retired Lutheran Pastor who like you loves the ELCA. I am African-American who grew up in a much different time and who grew up in a state with a history much like South Carolina. As you were speaking about your experiences in the church so much of it mirrors what I experienced. I think the most exasperating thing were the assumptions that people made based on the color of your skin.
* Were you a college or seminary graduate?
* You are really articulate
* You don’t sound like a Black person.
I applaud your truth telling and I would offer that a Dylann Roof is allowed to grow up in our churches that are primarily White because those churches have chosen to not tell the truth particularly about racism and white supremacy. Don’t allow anyone to stop you from speaking the truth but find you some strong allies who will support you in that. God Bless.
I so appreciate your writing. Signing up to follow now. These past weeks have been so hard for our family — we have both served the ELCA (I am PCUSA, and we were called into mission service together), and two of our children are African-American — and the majority of people in the pews and the leadership in both communions do not see the racism that is clear to us, woven throughout our histories and driving much of the system of how we do our holy work. Thanks so much for sharing! I thank God for giving you the courage. Peace.