Letting Go

Letting Go

People keep telling me that the best way to find peace is to let go. I’m reminded of the wisdom articulated in the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

I feel like the first line in this prayer is my focal point in life right now – accepting that which I cannot change. I’ve been challenged to reside where I find myself, which is extremely hard for me. I don’t want to sit with my feelings of disappointment. I don’t want to stay in a place of sadness. I don’t want to let the things that have happened sink in because I’m afraid that I won’t come out on the other side. But everyone keeps telling me that I will and that the first step is to let go of all the things I want and the things I try to control. Let it go and just be…

For me that looks like:

Letting go of this overwhelming desire to be in relationship.

Letting go of the demise of my marriage and the death of a dream.

Letting go of my drive towards perfectionism.

Letting go of my need to move from one thing to the next and never fully enjoying the moment.

Letting go of my shame and guilt.

Letting go of the pressure I put on myself to have it all figured out.

Letting go of who I thought I should be.

It’s been pointed out to me that transitions are difficult. A part of me is dying and I am grieving. But with death, I know and believe in the promise of new life. So something is being birthed right now. Even though it’s painful, even though it’s out of my control, I know that God is doing a new thing. Today I pray for the patience to accept the things I cannot change and the ability to just BE.

Love,

Me

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2 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Chi-town says:

    I recently began taking medicine. In your experience how long did it take for your meds to begin working? I know it’s different for everyone. Just looking for some first hand insight.

    • HolyRoze says:

      It took me a while to see a difference. My doctor is amazing and took the time to explain the different types of medications. I chose Prozac after doing some research and hearing his thoughts. I began with a pretty low dosage and he told me it would take a while to begin seeing a difference. After the first 6 months I felt marginally better but was still struggling. I went back and he increased my dosage. That change took another few months to kick in but I do feel like its working. The biggest thing I am learning in this process is to give yourself grace and be patient. Everyone reacts differently and there are many options when choosing your medication. If you don’t see a difference definitely talk to your doctor. I applaud you for taking the steps needed to care for yourself….

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